From rewarding effort to creating a schedule and a positive environment, experts have many tips to offer.
School online- it is a contentious issue. In some school districts the decision has already been made, and schools are going online-only for the fall. This is true in Los Angeles and San Diego, as well as in other locations. The debate over what to do with kids as the coronavirus pandemic continues definitely has good arguments on both sides. Kids need the social stimulation of in-person learning, and many parents are feeling the economic pull of needing to go back to work after months at home. On the other hand, there is no known cure for COVID-19 as of yet. And the disease can be deadly. Sending kids back to school en masse puts everyone in danger. Students, teachers, administrators, parents, extended family, communities, everyone. What are we to do?
There seems to be no good solution at the moment that truly covers all bases. Some locations are choosing online learning as their COVID-19 case rates are high. This seems to be the best option for them. One of the biggest challenges at home, of course, is the same challenge that teachers face in the classroom: getting kids to do their work. Many students did not do their online work in North America this past spring, and who can blame them.
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Of course, some faced harsher penalties than others. Take Grace, an African-American teen in Detroit, for example. Poor Grace seems to be facing an uphill battle in life at a young age. She is suffering from behavior problems and ADHD at 15. She was charged with assault and theft in spring, and was put on probation, with the condition that she get up for school and finish her school work in time. Then the pandemic hit. Overwhelmed at home without much assistance, Grace did not follow through with the deal. She is now being detained in juvenile detention and people are protesting outside, rallying for her freedom.
Hopefully Grace gets help. And hopefully this will not be what the fall holds for children and youth across the world: jail time for not handing in their homework. With a bit of creativity and care, adults can definitely find better ways of dealing with these challenges.
Here are some other tips for getting kids to do school work from Dr. Karen Aronian, Ed. D, a former New York City public school teacher and psychotherapist Debbie Pincus, creator of The Calm Parent AM & PM™.
Get troubled kids tested.
Before detailing some routes that can work with the average kid, let’s first consider cases outside the norm. If your child consistently rages against the machine that is school, or has been in shoes similar to Grace’s, you could consider having them tested for a learning challenge. If they cannot perform near grade level, maybe something is going on. It could be that a learning disability is making school work torturesome for them. Knowing where your child really is coming from can help them access the tools they need to open the road to success. If they are facing a challenge, school work expectations need to be adjusted to meet the student where they are at.
Remind them they want to stick with their friends, in the same grade.
Some experts say this is a powerful motivator. It might depend on the kid. If yours is disengaged, try reminding them that by doing their school work they can pass their grade and stay with their friends as they move up together.
“Being with their friends and making meaning together, and obviously enjoying one another’s company. They want to move forward and that’s so much about what school is about,” said Dr. Karen Aronian, Ed. D. to KYWNewsradio.
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Build networks through teachers and other students.
Many students work better with social support. Help your kid get set up with an online study group. Encourage them to stay connected. Ask teachers for help and reach out just to say “hi”. If you can afford it, consider hiring a tutor, or get a friend or a family member to help your family with school work a bit each week. This provides variety.
If you feel you are under too much pressure, get support for yourself. Seek out counselors or a friend to talk with.
Reward effort not outcome.
Reward kids for trying. You know your child best, and can tell if they put in an honest effort. Obviously, you want them to learn something, but if a particular topic is too tricky, don’t sweat it too much. Everyone has strong and weak points.
Find rewards that your kid will respond to. Maybe it’s a pizza night on the weekend for a week of school work well done. Perhaps new clothing does it. Maybe being able to hang out with a friend on Saturdays is a good motivator. Choose motivators and rewards that will work for them.
Provide a place.
You can really help your kids achieve by providing the right environment. If they excel at doing their school work by themselves in their bedroom, leave it like this. But if they are distracted, create a space that is well-lit, quiet and free from distractions for completing school work.
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If this is impossible to find in your home, consider reaching out to teachers, neighbors and friends to find a place in which your child can learn. Maybe your church has a space youth can use, or an elderly neighbor you trust would let your kid sit and work in their living room. Stay safe, and get creative.
Provide structure.
Don’t let the day slip away. Create a routine in your household. Encourage your kids to get up for the day as they did for school when it was outside of the home. Decide which subjects will be tackled at what time. Run the day like a school day by posting a schedule on the wall to follow. This may sound strict, and may not work for everyone, but for those who feel like they fall behind without a plan, this can help keep everyone on track. Adhere to the schedule and do not punish yourself if you fall off of it. Just get back on track the next day.
Get involved.
This point conflicts with the next one but it is about finding balance. Do stay involved with your child’s schoolwork and ask how things are going. For older students, this could be a brief check in. For younger students, you will likely have to sit down and be involved. If you can not do this for long periods of time, do what you can. At six years old, children are learning a lot, but most of what they learn is not done at a desk. Do one hour a day of school work and let them play, if this is what works for you.
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Let them make mistakes and don’t expect perfection.
Don’t turn your home into a war zone. Do let your kids fail. Respect that your child needs to learn how to meet deadlines on their own (especially older kids), and that you can help from the sidelines, but that you cannot do the work for them. This includes deciding when to study for the test, and when to get serious about finishing that large project.
If they fall down, set up a plan to get back up again.
If your child stops doing their school work for a longer period of time, work with them to set up a plan for success. As the experts say, it is better to have them fail at something at the age of ten than to lose a job at 25. Try to provide the steps for them to get working again, and let them climb.
Stay positive.
For those doing school online this fall, it will be a rough go with both good moments and bad moments. Stay focused on the positive. Take breaks. Keep telling your kid you know they can succeed. Let them try, and try again. When all else fails, go out for ice cream.
photo credits: karelnoppe/Shutterstock.com
