Lost that lovin’ feeling? The experts say sometimes it’s all (or at least partly) in your head.
The Canadians are at it again- telling us all how to live our private lives under the sheets. Don’t they know open friendliness can go too far?
All kidding aside, the title to this article is a true statement. Researchers from the University of Waterloo in Canada have found that the satisfaction you feel with your sex life is directly related to how old you feel- not your precise, actual, biological age.
Looking at 1170 adult participants of diverse sexual orientation, researchers came to their conclusions by analyzing data collected in the Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) study done between 1995 and 2005.
(This is a national longitudinal study of health and wellbeing done in the United States that measures the physical and mental health of participants).
Through their work, scientists found that if you’re in your mid-40s to mid-70s, the closer you feel to your actual age, the less likely you are to be satisfied with your sex life. Kind of insulting, but there you have it!
“What was clear from the data is that feeling younger had a huge impact on how people felt about the quality of their sex life and how interested they were in having sex,” said Steven Mock, an associate professor in Recreation and Leisure Studies at Waterloo.
“For people in mid to later life, feeling young at heart actually appears to make a difference in the bedroom.”
Of note, researchers said that feeling younger didn’t have an impact on the amount of sex people were having, but simply on the rate of satisfaction. It’s about quality not quantity, right?
Other Studies Agree
Of course, none of this information comes in a vacuum. Some experts believe that attitudes of perfectionism can do in any feelings of desire, according to this article from womensday.com. And perhaps that’s why you’re feeling inadequate when it comes to sex, in later life: you may be striving for unnecessary refinement.
As Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, MS, PT, a psychologist and physical therapist in Dallas so aptly states:
“Perfectionism places a huge burden on sex drive. A perfectionist thinks she (or he) needs to look and smell perfect, her (or his) mate must be perfect and the environment must be perfect. This state of perfection, of course, is impossible. Because of this, the perfectionist is stressed out about the flaws rather than enjoying time with her (or his) partner.”
So, how can you feel younger, at least in your head? Professionals advise taking various steps. Stimulate you brain with associations and activities. Try a new walking route, or take up darts for a while. This will give your brain the novelty it likely craves.
You could also try reliving some of the things you loved from your youth. Listen to the music, visit the places and engage in the activities. A study from Harvard has shown that people placed environments that resembled their youth experienced improvements in their memory, vision, happiness and health. It could just take something simple, to make the change.
Remember, perspective is all in your head, even in bed!
Photo credits: Wavebreak Media Ltd/Bigstock; monkeybusinessimages/Bigstock; Kasia Bialasiewicz/Bigstock