I saw her for ADHD.

First, she was late. We booked a one hour session, and I sat in the waiting room waiting. I understand people might have emergencies or run late, so when her staff told me to sit, I did. 15 minutes later, I ask them if things are okay, and it turns out she just forgot. And yet, she was hyper aware of our end time, so my session was 33% shorter than what it should have been.

She was demeaning, gaslighted me about everything I said. I read some of her interviews online, actually, before I went, and chose to go see her because I thought she seemed very nuanced, thoughtful, and caring in her podcasts/interviews. (Also, she was my only option because she was the only ADHD specialist at my college's medical center.)

From the moment I walked in, she seemed to compartmentalize me into a box: a college student who seemed sad she wasn't doing that great anymore. Every time I said something, she would spin it to fit that narrative.

Having issue reading? "Have you tried highlighting? :) Do you listen to music?" Yes and no, I'm not 5.

"What's your GPA? Oh? You're fine, you have a 4.6 and were top 20 in high school. People with ADHD struggle to get Cs and miss flights all the time."

I told her when I got a C in a class because I couldn't make myself study for my exam despite me already not doing so hot. Her response? "You had 9 days to study for that exam--don't you think it's natural you only started a few days before? Most people don't work until under pressure. Don't you think 9 days is too many to study for an exam?" No, I don't--if it's natural to only start things a few days before they're do, why do people make multi year plans? Why do professors give months to finish projects? Oh, wait...It's because people are expected to and do start before 3 days before the deadline.

And those were just a few of the gems she imparted upon me. The way she treated me was extremely uncomfortable, and it makes me feel bad even months later. She was extremely smiley, said everything in an upbeat voice, but also so, so demeaning.

What makes it worse is that one of my friends went to see her months later (again, because we have no other options; Hsi is the only ADHD specialist at our school's Medical Center). My friend and I have very, very similar symptoms: we shared symptom lists/incidents in our lives that made us suspect we had ADHD, and yet Hsi was extremely kind and nurturing to my friend, and ended up diagnosing them saying it was "fairly obvious" that ADHD was keeping them from "reaching their full potential". When my friend mentioned they had a 4.4 and used to do Olympiads in high school, Hsi's reaction was to nod understandingly and tlak about how a common misconception of ADHD is that you have to be flunking life and school to have it. Which, holy whiplash.

Anyway, while my friend had a great experience and is now doing way better in life, Hsi's treatment of them doesn't really speak well of her. From our extremely different experiences (despite us being the same demographic and having very similar symptoms/life experiences), it's clear she judges you by first impressions and refuses to deviate from that first impression.

In other words, if you, stay away. She seems like a great fit--well-informed interviews, seemingly understanding nature, even a daughter at a high pressure university--but in all honesty, she's extremely uncaring, unhelpful, and judgmental.

Submitted Oct. 14, 2019

no stars if possible Dr. Xiaolu was cold and unhelpful and i regret staying with her in therapy for sooo long. i should have left after the first few visits but keep looking for something positive about my experience not a therapist i'd recommend to people who want to feel heard or cared about

Submitted May 9, 2017